loved.

You are loved. Loved PERIOD.

This is my own forearm.
It also has one of my
favorite quotes, from
Victor Hugo:
"Even the darkest night
will end, and the sun
will rise."
It will.  I have to
believe the sun will rise.

Hey you.  Yep, you.  Grab a mirror, or look at yourself in the camera of your phone or computer. I'm talking to YOU, you reading this right now.

I want you, NEED you, to know something very important.  You are loved.  See that little dot at the end of the word?  It's not so little, really.  It is the most important part.  You are loved PERIOD. No matter what.  No ifs, ors, or buts.  PERIOD.

You may not believe it right this second.  You may be hurting and in the deepest darkest pit you've ever felt.  You may believe everyone's lives would truly be better off without you.  I am here to tell you that is a LIE. Your brain is LYING to you right now.  You ARE loved.  I may not know you.  I PROBABLY don't know you.  I do know one thing.  Someone, somewhere, even if only one, LOVES you and would NEVER be better off without you.  And most likely, there are many, many, people who love you and you don't even realize it.  

I've been there.  I'm there weekly.  I have had treatment resistant depression for 3 years.  In the last 8 years since the depression set in hard, I have been inpatient 10 times, and gone to daily outpatient classes 3 times.  I KNOW WHAT YOU FEEL AND YOUR BRAIN IS LYING.

I may not be the best person to tell you this, because like I said, I feel this weekly, this lie, and I have felt it scarily hard. I've been to the point of no return and back somehow, miraculously, 3 times.  I am choosing to believe that there must be a purpose for me left here, besides how much my family would really be worse off without me, and they really would.  I believe I am also here to tell YOU that you are loved.  

Email me, I will love you unconditionally.  I don't care who you are or what you've done, this isn't the end.

Have you see the semi colon tattoos?  I love those and will be getting one.  There is even a whole new movement about it.  Check out Project Semicolon.  This semi colon is a sign of hope.  It is where the author could have chosen to end the sentence but didn't.  They chose to continue on and add meaningful thought.  Please continue on.

There is always a way out.  Always.  You don't give up, and I won't either, okay?  Let's stop this stigma of psychiatric disorders.  WAY more people deal with these disorders than you would believe. They just won't admit it to others or sometimes even to themselves. People wonder why there are most autistic kids now than 40 years ago? I don't think there are. They just didn't have the same diagnosis for them back then. The high-functioning angry ones were "troublemakers", high functioning tearful ones were "wimps", lower-functioning ones were just labeled a word I despise - "retarded." 

But also, I'd bet you know a lot more people who have anxiety disorder, or panic disorder, or OCD, or depression, or self-harm, than you'd think. Those can be easier to hide than some other mental disorders and the dumb stigma makes everyone so worried what people think. And it is true, if you are vocal that you have depression, anxiety, PTSD, you don't hide it, you may lose friends - no wonder people hide it.  I think the more people who are more open and real and truthful about their issues, the more people can be compassionate to themselves and lose a lot of self-hatred thinking they are "freaks" or "weird."

We aren't weird.  We are amazing.  You may not know you are yet, but that is where your semi colon starts. You have yet to become it.  I believe you will.

If you are unsafe, and really can't believe me, PLEASE call this number.  You are needed and you are loved.  Don't end your sentence.